There is a certain kind of elegant shitiness that some bad movies have. A sublime awkwardness of sound and movement that transcends the earth’s pull. There were times during this movie when it almost got there.
I can’t decide if the movie was just a giant fuck you to quadriplegics or if the metaphor of a super intelligent AI taking control of your body was the perfect metaphor for losing control over your own body. Only once did the magnetic, infectiously charismatic bootleg version of Tom Hardy (played by Logan Marshall-Green) attempt to commit suicide because he couldn’t “tie his shoes” or “work with his hands”. I do mean that bit about him being charismatic though. If there was one redeeming feature of this film, it’s his gloriously awkward way of walking around as a cyborg and not the overly-acted performance of a tech entrepreneur with Aspergers, Aaron Eron (“This is my cloud” is the best worst line of the movie). Eron and just about everyone else in the movie (sans fake Tom Hardy’s wife Ash, who gets fridged too quickly to have any more complex a character than the independent, working sex kitten, giggle-wife who orders pizza in because she’s too busy making fuck-me eyes with her husband to cook. Where was I? Oh, right, everyone seems to hate disabled people, even the disabled people in the movie are pretty unhappy with one another. Most of the disabled people, it turns out, aren’t actually disabled, they’re “fakers,” and one is left wondering if they couldn’t find a genuine rider of wheelchairs to consult for or act in the film or they were just too embarrassed about what they would say. More than once, basic bitch brand Tom Hardy punks all people with disabilities by appearing to be disabled in his chair and then getting out of it on the street in front of full view of anyone with eyes.
Twist at the end is dumb. Only thing it solves is why anyone took his ring off his finger at the scene of the crime originally when they were gonna be positively identified anyway. The car chase was one of the most boring decisions made in an otherwise sometimes refreshingly comic action movie. Fisk’s mustache was the real hero of this film.
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